I have a theory about why I don't really like weddings. It goes something like this: I haven't been to more than three or four that actually involve people I really care about. Not to say that I don't care about the other people, but I haven't been very close to them. As an example, I spelled the name of a bride wrong on the card. I'm such an idiot. Anyway, I'm sure they're fun and nice and special, but it's hard to enjoy them fully when you're not emotionally invested in the couple. At least for me. I'm going with this theory because I know there are people that enjoy weddings, and I've been to a few that were quite nice.
Anyway, at the most recently wedding reception I ran into some old friends and as it turns out one of them had previously been married and is not separated (I'm not sure if there's a divorce in there as well or not) and the other was a little, secretly sad about not being married with kids or not having any prospects or whatever.
At this point I could get on my soapbox about how I don't judge the worth of my character based on my relationships and that it's okay with me about not being married and I'm in no hurry and blah blah wedding cakes but I won't. I have a few friends who are in their mid to late twenties and really feel like they should be in a more long term or serious relationship. I can't knock them for wanting those things. It's nice to know there's someone there who cares about you and who you can share special things with.
I'm also not in a positing where a lot of my friends are either getting married, are married or have kids. I think that excuses me from feeling left out of that particular ritual. Instead a lot of people around me are getting jobs and I feel like maybe that's what I should be doing. So, yeah, point. It's hard not to want what everyone around you is getting.
For me it seems that I read a lot of journals/weblogs of people who are older and have jobs and two incomes and houses and really neat gadgets. So, I can't help it if I want a new computer and a TiVo and a new car and and and. Maybe what should be on my list for Christmas is a group of webloggers/journalers(ists?) who are in the same place in their lives that I am in mine.
Dear Santa,
If you could please read this entry and figure out what it is exactly that I want. I'm sure you know better than I do at this point.
In confusion and thanks,
Jenn
