Small Town Survival

First I'd like to point out that I don't seem like much of a gift giver considering that I said I'd post all the days of December and then promptly left you hanging for three days. Suck. Anyway. I'm back for good this month and if you keep reading you'll see what sort of things have been keeping me away. In this case I have some thoughts on dogs and children. The rest is all a lie because I've been watching too much Alias (if there is such a thing) and specials on tv (dude, I was totally going to write last night but when CSI ended there was something on Lord of the Rings, do you really expect.... okay, shut up.)

And now that I'm hyped up on coffee and I've survived a strange day of subbing I'm ready to tell you why I think dogs are like children illustrated through the following examples:

Kid plays with glue gun. I say no. Kid plays with tape. I say what are you doing? Kid tapes book closed with tape. I say, what are you doing? I don't think so. Kid plays with box cutter. I say be careful. Kid tries cutting model house with box cutter. I say don't do that. Kid tries cutting book with box cutter. I say don't do that. Kid sharpens stick with box cutter. I say, what are you doing? Kid sands stick down with sand paper. I look on in amazement. Kid stabs cardboard box with sharpened stick. I say, don't do that.

Dog chews on pillow. I say no. Dog jumps on me. I say, what are you doing? Dog tries to eat plant. I say, what are you doing? Don't do that. Dog tries to play with cat. I say, be careful. Dog tries biting cat. I say, don't do that. Dog gets something out of the trash. I say don't do that. Dog tries to eat quarter. I say, what are you doing? Dog sleeps for five minutes. I look on in amazement. Dog tries to sleep on couch. I say, don't do that.

It's honestly the constant "what are you doing? Don't do that that." that reminds me of the dog. Or is it the dog that reminds me of the kids? Either way, it's the lack of an intelligent decision or real consideration for what the kid/dog is about to do that amaze me. Honest.

In other news I dealt with a rowdy group of 8th graders today who wouldn't listen to me, gave me a hard time and then expected me to do them some favors at the end of the day. I even warned them halfway through the class that they should settle down or I would leave a nasty note for the teacher (yeah, today I was *that* sub) and in reply I got a few "I'm ADD" or "we're always like this." Oh well. I left the note for the teacher and hope he actually grows a pair and gets these kids back in order.

So minus the killer headache this morning, the 6 am call, the way kids are like my 6 month old puppy and the obnoxious 8th graders my day was pretty damn good. I even got invited to the real teachers' Christmas/holiday party. Sweet, I get to see teachers I used to be.. uh, taught by getting wasted. Is that cool or what? Or ? er? is it? I'm pumped. Or at least I will be if they actually give me an invite like they said they would. PS. It was CuteTeacherGuy that specifically extended the invitation. This is totally appropriate for two reasons. He's young. He's married. Oh, and as a third he brings me coffee when I'm there. How can I not dig someone who brings me coffee? Exactly.

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