Every once in awhile I consider letting the renewal on web hosting and the subscription to my domain slide. I consider whether I really write enough or do enough or care enough to update and keep the thing running. To be honest, I don't know why I hold on to it. Sometimes I think I will start writing again as passionately as I once did or at least as often if it isn't as emotion filled or exciting. I think about now, however, what might I write about? I don't take photos so nearly as often as I would like. I have enveloped myself in a more personal side of my life that I am not sure I'm ready to put out into the world. Mostly because it's so good and I am jealously keeping it to myself.
There are other factors too. I work in what can be considered a very public place where it's not at all acceptable to talk about it. Or at least not to write about it. Maybe I am making all of that up, but because I teach and my job involves so many other people whose consent to discuss them in writing for the world to see I don't have... well yeah. I like what I do and I want to keep it. Perhaps at some point I will come to some agreement with myself where I can write about pieces without giving away individuals. I also had a really, really, really rough first year and it was too painful to record. I tried to keep a lot of that pain and confusion private, and I think only a little leaked out. In the end I found people who are awesome support and people that I really love to work with and talk with. There's always the question of the coming year, but at least I know I have a wonderful group of people to back me.
I think the real question is, that I've gone so long without real updates, does anyone even visit this space anymore? I know that I used to read a lot of blogs and failure to update usually allows them to fade. Not to mention I lost my list of websites I looked at a lot. But really, if I start, maybe people will come back, and then they leave disappointed again when I can't manage to stick with it.
In the end, I will tell myself that I can do this once more, that I can find the little things to mention, that I am moving into a place in my life where I might have more to write about. If nothing else, I am still reading, seeing movies, and putzing around online to the extent where there must be some casual observation in me somewhere about something.
Thanks for reading.